My name is Shelby Miller. I am a graphic designer, elementary technology teacher, and yoga teacher. I created this blog as a way to start a conversation about women. We need more women encouraging women, kind words, and more wine (hence the name, Wine Women & the Word). It's a place to share love and struggles, to create and explore. Grab some coffee, or a glass or wine, and let's chat.
Ladies, grab a glass of wine tonight because YOU DESERVE IT. Not that you need a reason to treat yo’self, of course. I’m having a glass tonight for self care, for relaxation and to enjoy the complexity of something so simple. I’ll admit I’m writing this before Wednesday. I’m sipping on a Trader Joes wine called Purple Moon Merlot. I’ve always had a love of full moons and their beauty so that’s the real reason I was drawn to this one (I can’t help but love the designs). Coming in well under $10 it was worth the investment, plus I loved it! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
As I sip I read my combined Women & Word section posted below. This poem is so simple and yet impactful. Each of you, though pretty, are born with so much to be proud of. You were born on this earth for a specific purpose only YOU can fulfill. Don’t forget that and don’t forget to keep striving for your greatness. Remind a friend today of all they are worth and that they are important.
It’s the last week of school, Grad classes are moving full steam ahead, we had Mother’s Day, school carnival, baseball games, wedding shower prep, taking down my classroom, teaching yoga classes, bible study and not to mention every day things like, oh yeah, eating and sleeping.
It is so hard not to get caught in the frenzy.
One of my biggest weaknesses is being present in the moment. So often I am doing one thing, but my brain is 3 activities ahead. We remember activities based on what we give our mind to. It’s very hard to fully experience, let alone enjoy, something when you are constantly running through mental to do lists.
When I teach yoga classes I will often say, “Set aside your mental todo list, it will be there when you are done. Take this time to fully focus your mind on your body and on your mat.” I had a teacher say this in a class I was taking and, though simple, made me stop and really think. Making your last mental note before jumping full focus into an activity is a good exercise to help you be fully aware of the current experience.
I had some great counsel recently on grounding. Grounding is the act of rooting yourself and your thoughts in this moment. Think of it literally: when we ground ourselves on our yoga mat, in the classroom with kids, or in your living room with family, you are feeling the ground beneath your feet. You are rooting yourself in that location and even in a conversation. If you often find your mind wandering, your body pacing or constantly moving, you probably are not grounded. Allow yourself to settle and enjoy.
The counsel I received was this wonderful exercise. When you walk into a new room or a new situation as your day progresses, think through these 4 senses:
Take a deep breath, look around and 4: Note 4 things that you SEE 3. Note 3 things that you HEAR 2. Note 2 things that you FEEL (touch or feelings) 1.Note 1 thing that you smell
Feel free to mix and match and take time to observe your environment. If we allow ourselves to get caught in the frenzy we will be swept away by stress, doubt and sleepless nights.There can be peace and enjoyment in the frenzy. For me the goal this week is simply to ‘experience.’ As I get better at this exercise the goal will be to truly ENJOY. We all start with baby steps.
What 4321 things are you experiencing right now?
34 Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
I love when the universe collides. You know how someone mentions one thing to you and then all of a sudden you’re seeing it everywhere? Or when you’ve been reading about a topic and all of a sudden it pops up in something totally unrelated?
That’s some real life magic right there.
This month I got a Yoga with Adriene email newsletter. Adriene Mishler- the creator and teacher on Yoga with Adriene– always has an uplifting point of view. I love that she is just so real and QUIRKY. She is just so fun. I’m currently doing one of her yoga challenges you can find here.
I followed a link to a blog post about a little something called Ahimsa. This was a topic I studied in yoga training and have always enjoyed. Ahimsa, by definition, is the principle of nonviolence toward all living things. It is a building block of yoga and one of the first yamas.
Anyway, the idea of nonviolence is crucial to our happiness and to finding truth in our lives. Violence does not necessarily mean fighting or physical violence. We show violence to ourselves in many ways, and always to our detriment.
Not forgiving a friend produces resentment. Eating unhealthy foods in excess isn’t treating our body like a temple. Being angry while driving sets your day off on the wrong foot. Not taking time to rest, doubting ourselves, saying harsh things about your appearance or abilities…all these things are so common and are examples of violence.
Ahimsa is the practice of nonviolence. It’s taking the time to realize what things you need to be more kind about. For me, it has been battling negative thoughts about my relationship with friends and coworkers, or even my relationship with myself. I could sit and wallow in that for days. My act of Ahimsa has been journaling and making distinct efforts to understand my friend’s ‘Love Languages.’ I’m also being kind to myself when I start identifying more with my faults than my strengths. We all have both of those things, it’s what we do with them that matters.
Perhaps yours is negative self talk. Today your Ahimsa could be listing out the negative feelings that constantly bombard your brain and counteract it with some TRUTH. Next to the negative things write down a truth that counteracts each of those thoughts. You can even write down solutions to those struggles.
How can you start practicing Ahimsa?
Start taking time for yourself.
Start a gratitude journal.
Show love to that odd coworker instead of talking about them in the lounge.
Take time for a yoga practice or regular walks.
Give yourself 5 extra minutes in the morning to enjoy a cup of coffee.
Allow time in your schedule for changes.
Stop and think of that thing, person or activity that reallllly pushes your buttons. Don’t let that anger or self-talk take over your day.How can you practice non-violence, or love, towards these situations? If you don’t like something then change it.
So I’ve had Ahimsa on my mind. Then that thing happened where you start seeing other connections.
Recently at BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) we were reading about showing love and encouraging others. We read in Romans 15: 5-7
5 May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus,6 that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.7 Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God.
and then Romans 15: 13
13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.
These messages began to fall so perfectly together for me. The idea of being filled up with joy and peace leaves our spirits to abound in hope. When you are filled up with joy, peace, hope and truth there isn’t room for violent thoughts.
When we are filled up we are then called to do the same to others. We are to encourage and lift up those around us. It is our duty to build them up in the same way The Word has built us up.
That’s some serious Ahimsa.
Today I hope you take time to work on nonviolence. To allow scripture and words and love fill you up. When we are feeling fulfilled we can better combat those violent lies that creep in. You have to actually invest time and effort to see progress, so why not start now? It’ll only result in a happier self. You’re worth it. Perhaps your first act of nonviolence will be taking this time and making changes for yourself.
I find it more and more these days that I say the words “I just need a glass of wine” and I am not saying that in a bad way. Between work, family and the busy pace of life it never seems like I have a moment to sit and relax. Some of my favorite past times are sitting on a patio (especially with the weather that we have been having lately) drinking a light Pinot Noir, with the perfect hints of blackberry and licorice. In those moments is seems like there isn’t a care in the world, there isn’t a future looming over my head or a past that seems to hold me back every chance it can. Being a woman in my mid twenties it seems like there is always something that is in my way, and in these moments I always find it necessary to refocus and look at what is important and run towards that.
Ladies it is patio season, and finding a good wine to drink on the patio is always difficult. That is, unless you know what you are looking for. Here are some quick tips that might help you pick the perfect glass to sit back and put your feet up! What you want to look for is something that is going to be light and refreshing but also give you the wine taste that you always love. Sitting outside in this beautiful weather I would recommend a nice white or rose. If you are more of a sweet wine drinker, look for a German Riesling, these are going to give you that bit of sweet but it wont taste like you are drinking sugar. If you are more of a dry wine drinker try a New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc, with this you are going to get more of the earthy tones are looking for. Me on the other hand I prefer red, even when it is hot outside.
I have been into Pinot’s lately especially from Willamette Valley in Oregon, they are one of the lightest reds you can drink while still holding its rounded berry flavors. No matter what your preference there is never a bad time to have a nice glass of wine, particularly when it is with even better company.
I have been feeling the pressures lately, being 25 seeing all of my friends getting married, starting families, it is hard not to be there as well. BUT… then I stop and look at my life. I am living in one of the most beautiful cities, in a cute little studio with stunning view. For the first time in my life I do not have anything holding me down (or at least I tell myself I don’t) I can walk down the street with my boyfriend and choose from 30 restaurants. I am not a mom, or a wife and I am TOTALLY fine with that. I like that I don’t fit the mold and when I am ready to be in that position then God will let me know when it is time, but until then, I am perfectly content with my little life.
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
I have this painted on a wood plank that hangs in my entryway. I see it every morning before I leave for work and then the moment I come home. It is hard to remember sometimes that my strength is not my own. He is the one that can get through everything and as long as I put my troubles and worries on him, he will guide me through the rest. I know when I have Christ in my corner I can do anything, even in my darkest moments, my most frustrating moments, the moments that I am afraid to take another step forward, I know that he is there to take my hand and do the difficult work as he walks me through life. I just have to remember that I can do ALL things through HIM.
Paige is a photographer and an administrative assistant. She has crazy amounts of wine knowledge because of many years working in the restaurant industry, including working for her dad’s restaurant Nick and Jakes. She is an amazing strong women. Check out her photography website: http://www.paigekime.com/
You get in life what you have the courage to ask for. ~Oprah Winfrey
I’m motivated by quotes. It’s like little truth nuggets that boost me throughout the week. I happened upon this today and had to share.
This quote is so pertinent to a goal I have going on this week. I struggle to say what’s on my mind. I’m afraid of hurting other’s feelings, or being rejected by other people. So I tend to not stand up for myself or voice any issues I’m experiencing.
Do you do this? We need to have courage to, kindly and bravely, ask for the things we need. It’s okay to not agree with everything everyone says. If others are willing to speak their minds, you should feel comfortable doing so too.
If you speak from a place of love and fairness, you need not worry about if your concerns will be rejected. Your voice needs to be heard, so speak your truth! Don’t let it build up from within. And feel freer knowing you’ve had courage to ask for what you’re needing today. You are worth it.
It takes more work to be good. I keep thinking about this after a busy week. After seeing closed minded posts on social media, a parent being rude to me, teaching a crazy off the wall class at school…it had me feeling down.
We all have those thoughts that creep in. When we’re tired or upset or overworked it’s a lot harder to see through a clear lens. When people start clouding your focus with bad manners, hate and judgment it’s hard to filter that out to set the better example.
I listened to a podcast this week that talked about ‘being kinder than necessary.’ We’ve seen the Pinterest quotes and maybe even said the words ‘kill with kindness.’ How often do we actually employ this idea, all while letting go of anger or resentment towards the one that did you wrong? Being kind to someone’s face and then turning around to complain about it to someone else is not the same thing. Talking through a problem or asking advice is beneficial, but complaining is not. But seriously isn’t that the hardest?
I started thinking about this idea of being kinder than necessary. Showing love to the parent that was sarcastic and rude was difficult. Helping out a co-worker even when they should have accomplished that task already was not what I wanted to do. The thing about kindness is that it’s only kind if you do it out of compassion, concern and care for that situation. Have I done the kind thing so people think I’m a kind person? Oh, for sure. How often do we do the begrudgingly kind thing because we feel like we ‘should’ and not just because it is needed?
I struggle to see and hear closed mindedness. Sharing your thoughts is one thing, but doing it in a hateful or discriminatory way is never okay. We all have different ideas of what is right and wrong and the most important thing to remember is that each of us feel differently about different things. Assuming you’re the only right person and closing yourself off to conversation is not loving, it is judgmental. It’s also not kind.
It’s easier to be hateful and negative. It’s much harder to be loving. It’s harder to be willing to sit and listen to someone with a different mindset, without jumping in to correct them. It’s harder to accept differences than to categorize someone as bad or wrong. Listening can lead to some of the most fruitful conversations for both you, or for them.
In premarital counseling Marshall and I talked about how validating someone’s thoughts or feelings doesn’t mean you are agreeing they are right. You can validate why your husband thinks one thing, by listening and understanding them, without saying you agree. Validating a person’s feelings is important. If they ask for your opinion on the matter you can give a differing one, all while respecting how they might have come to their conclusion.
Allowing room for kindness, the kind you mean without a hidden motive, respect by listening, and love by caring are 3 essential parts of being a good human. Let’s all practice that today.
I bet you’re picturing that one difficult person in your life right now. How can you show kindness today? How will you balance kindness, validation and love without compromising yourself?
Let’s work on this together.
She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
(A reminder for me this week to speak kindly and teaching lovingly!)
Cheers to our first guest woman blogger. Molly is kind of awesome and so is her take on wine, women and the word. Read below!
At the end of last week I went out for drinks with some co-workers for some much needed “team-building.” We headed over to Black Acre Brewing in the Irvington area of Indianapolis. I got an amazing Russian Imperial Stout (I’m a big fan of dark beer – its actually the only type I really like) that had been aged in red wine barrels. The red wine brought out the fruit undertones and complemented the chocolate ones; it was honestly one of the best beers I’ve ever had.
The fact that you could taste the wine really helped too.
It was a nice treat. I rarely drink except for social occasions, and it was a fun way to get to know my co-workers better. If you’re ever in Indy, I highly recommend heading over to Black Acre!
I saw Avengers: Infinity War Part 1this weekend and OH MY GOODNESS. No spoilers here, but honestly if I told you the ending you wouldn’t even believe me. I. Was. Shocked. In my opinion its one of the best Marvel movies– I think it might even make it into my top five (Yes, I am a giant nerd thank you very much).
One thing I really loved was the increased presence of women in the film. Of course that was bound to happen when you combine the characters from nearly all of Marvel’s previous 18 or so films, but this felt different than just character story lines merging. There was a lot of women interacting with other women, which is something audiences haven’t gotten a lot of in previous Marvel films. Not only did audiences get to see all the amazing and varied Marvel women in one movie, but see them together. In this movie women supported, praised, fought for and alongside each other. And that, is something that the Marvel universe has sorely needed more of.
Proverbs 3:5-6 5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.
This is a well known verse, and its been one of my favorites since I was a kid. Lately, I’ve been grappling with my current phase of life. I’m in my first job post-graduate school (which I’ve been struggling with), in a new city where I know no one, and starting all of this without the built in social aspects of school. I went to graduate school straight out of college, so I’ve known little else besides academia. Its been a rough adjustment, and I’ve felt somewhat stuck. This is a verse I’ve been turning to a lot lately. It reminds me to depend on God and His plan, not my own, and that no matter how much I’m struggling with lack of control or where I am in life that “there are far better things ahead.”*
It’s a rare thing finding people your soul truly loves. Not just someone you like or can be around, but someone your soul craves. Your soul is the true essence of who you are. It’s the part of you that needs to be filled up with goodness and truth; your inner being. When your soul feels dried up you feel tired, alone or forgotten. Allowing people in your life that love you from nose to toes, good, bad and ugly, refreshes your soul. You have to accept that love and allow yourself to be loved.
I thought about this today for two reasons: 1. It’s my husband’s birthday! 2. I’ve been hearing and reading a lot about this word ‘soul.’
Though I love the portion of Solomon 3:4 it’s not really about finding any person. We all know the only person we’d need to find is relationship our creator.
I do love the essence of this quote though. I’ve been married about 6 months now and am learning to love and be loved. Yes, it is something you need to actually learn. Allowing someone to be part of EVERY aspect of your life can be super hard. It’s really the same with friendships and family members. I think too often we guard our true selves, our soul, or our essence from others for fear of not being understood. Unfortunately it is too easy to hide the things we don’t want others to know about us and to display the parts we want to be known for.
That is so detrimental to our wellness. I know it is for mine. I didn’t realize how much I adapted myself for others until this past year when Marshall and I did couples counseling. Luckily, I think Marshall is the one person that knows me through and through (lucky guy). When it comes to work it’s easy to hide our personal lives or put on a different face. It’s easy to share only parts of your life you think your friends will accept. It’s easy to keep prayer requests to yourself so your small group don’t know your true struggles.
I feel this tightness in my chest when I’m not being authentic and true. Many of us struggle with not wanting to be disliked. The truth is, not everyone is going to love us…or like us for that matter. It’s up to us to be faithful and kind to what we believe and what we need. Splitting apart your soul and sharing different pieces of it isn’t going to last for long.
I’m so (x 200) thankful for Marshall. Especially today on his birthday. He challenges me, he encourages me to do hard things and be brave. He’s the one my soul loves.
Who do you have that knows your fears, your ambitions, your dreams, your heart? Who do you have that loves you even when you make dumb decisions? I want all my close relationships to be this way. It’s time to stand up, stand strong, and be authentically you. No one else can fulfill your role on this earth but y-o-u! So why hide that goodness?!
Showing who you are to the core is the most honest, and scary, thing you can do today. And yet how freeing that is. I’m on a mission to be true and honest with every person that I meet, and you should be too.
Scarcely had I passed them when I found him whom my soul loves. I held him, and would not let him go until I had brought him into my mother’s house, and into the chamber of her who conceived me.
Couldn’t help myself…this is a busy week after all! I have the will, so where is my Rosé?
With a woman so strong, so accomplished and so admired, I couldn’t help but share this quote. I don’t like that the stereotype among women is that we can be catty or mean to each other. So often I see quite the opposite- women boosting other women and standing up for each other. This is something young and old women alike need to be reminded. When you stand for another woman you stand for yourself.
25 Let your eyes look directly forward,
and your gaze be straight before you.
26 Ponder the path of your feet;
then all your ways will be sure.
27 Do not swerve to the right or to the left;
turn your foot away from evil.
I love reading psalms and I love reading proverbs. There are so poetic. Not knowing where to search today I simply searched our date 4:25…I love what it showed me. Keep your eyes forward, ponder your path and turn your foot from evil. There is so much going on right now for all of us, this couldn’t have had better timing.
One year ago today the Millers were in Italy taking in the sights, eating all the gelato and experiencing beauty as we walked down the narrow cobblestone streets. This day last year we were in Rome, specifically. Exploring the city felt like we had stepped back in time. The architecture and ancient history was very evident as we took it all in.
The amazing thing about travel is the chance to broaden your view of the world. Seeing how other people live their day to day lives is so fascinating. Perhaps the craziest thing to me was to see modern life happening around these ancient structures. The Colosseum bold and still standing strong was breath taking. The intricate details of each church was unmatched and there was a quiet hush as we entered them for a better view.
Sitting in those many churches in Italy brought perspective. The church and God’s people were the heart beat of so many places we visited on our trip. Take time to go somewhere new and experience putting yourself out of your comfort zone. It allows a lot of room for reflection. Just having that childish sense of awe over beautiful things and large buildings is humbling. We are all part of making history right now. It is exciting to think about what impact each of us might have if we follow our God given paths. We were all made for the same greatness that was visibly evident in the beautiful cities we visited.
Kathleen, my mother-in-law, sent out a great reminder today including some verses that rang true for her about the trip. I asked her if I could share because they were too good not to! To tie in scripture to these great experiences really helps me to enjoy the beauty of our trip again and again:
The people are bringing more than enough for doing the work the Lord commanded to be done.(This verse is about the building of the tabernacle, but makes me think of all the time, devotion and gifts dedicated to building the beautiful cathedrals and churches.)
Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth.
Worship the Lord with gladness, come before him with joyful songs.
Know that the Lord is God.
It is He who made us and we are His.
We are his people, the sheep of all his pasture.
Enter His gates of Thanksgiving and his courts with praise.
Give thank to Him and praise His name.
For the Lord is good and his love endures forever;
his faithfulness continues through all generations.
(The response we felt as we experienced the beautiful churches and his beautiful creation and the reminder of His faithfulnessthrough ALL generations.)
Lord you have been our dwelling place throughout all generations.
Before the mountains were born or you brought forth the earth and the world,
from everlasting to everlasting you are God.
(All that we saw and experienced to me was a great reminder that God has been and always will be our dwelling place – He is everlasting!)
To all in in Rome (or who have been there) who are loved by God and called to be saints. Grace and peace to you from God our Father and from the Lord Jesus Christ.